The Peculiar Mind Trap: Scientific Evidence of Bovine Molestation

Scientists have discovered evidence of alien abduction and general interference in Earthly affairs, although naturally they skirted around this obvious conclusion in their published paper. Sabine Begall, Jaroslav Červený, Julia Neef, Oldřich Vojtěch and Hynek Burda published a paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America innocuously titled "Magnetic alignment in grazing and resting cattle and deer" (http://www.pnas.org/content/105/36/13451) which was picked up by a number of news sites around the world.

Basically, the researchers used Google Earth to look at herds of cattle and deer (8,510 cows in 308 pastures and 2,974 deer in 241 localities) and found that two-thirds of the ungulates were aligned in a north-south direction -- specifically magnetic north. To explain this trend the scientists refer to ancestral herds of migrating bovines to explain the trend -- as if cattle evolved to be giant magnets in leather.

The obvious and logical explanation (just as obviously and logically being covered up by Them) is that the cow's orientation is a direct result of implants by aliens during their numerous cow molesting escapades. It seems they're only about two-thirds through their nefarious plan, and I shudder to think what will happen when all of Earth's cattle fall under their sway. It's also important to find out how widespread this is, since both Roe deer and domestic cows are part of the order Artiodactyla, which contains about 220 species including pigs, sheep, camels and giraffes.

Astute individuals will also make a connection with alien abductees, and agree with me that the most pressing order of business is to find out whether they also have a specific orientation.

This could go further than previously thought, as the picture below demonstrates -- it was taken in the morning in Liechtenstein, and the shadow indicates that the cow is in fact pointing north.