Viento de Cola

Había una vez, hace muchos años, un joven que decidió ver el mundo. Para decir la verdad, el vía el mundo antes de eso decisión, a pesar de que el había visto el mundo cada segunda que tenía sus ojos abiertos... entonces por razones de claridad vamos a decir que el quería ver mas del mundo que había visto hasta eso punto en su vida.

Estaba siendo un hombre de acción, hasta el segundo que el había hecho eso decisión el lo volviera en realidad. Estuvo comiendo muchos frijoles, pensando -- "con eso energía estare viendo todo el mundo en el mismo tiempo".

El día siguiente el muchacho salio de la casa, puestó en cuclillas, y brincó lo mas alta que fuera posible, lo mas alto que algien habia brincado antes. Eso no fue suficiente, pero apenas estaba en el punto mas alto los frijoles hicieron lo que los frijoles hacen, y el viento de cola resultante propulsó el joven cerca del cielo.

Con eso silla divina, el podría ver todo el mundo, hasta el mar brillante en las orillas del mundo a las lomas de su hogar debajo de el. Qué? No, el está bien, rodó cuando cayó en el piso, entonces todo es bien.

Libertad

El camina tranquilamente, disfrutando el sol en su piel. Esta muy contento con el jardín, que es muy bonito y estaba proveyendo muchas frutas ya que el habia pasado mucho tiempo cuidándolo. El escucha a su esposa en la cocina de su casa bonita, y sonrie por el pensamiento de que su pareja va a continuar a su lado en el viaje de la vida por muchos años, a menos que La Flaca invite a bailar a alguno de los dos. De repente ve a una niña corriendo hacia el.
-- ¡Abue! Voy a darte una sorpresa si cierras los ojos! Obedientemente el anciano cierra sus ojos, y actúa sorprendido con la sorpresa aunque ya sabia qu era un muffin porque puede oler el trabajo de su esposa. Su nieta corre para jugar con sus primos. El piensa que su vida contenía mucho trabajo, pero vale la pena siempre y cuando el trabajo resulte en una buena vida.

Libertinaje

El se sienta en la silla dura, en el cuarto sórdido. Su mirada fija en el callejón visible a través de la ventana, aunque nada esta pasando y si algo interesante hubiera pasado el no lo puede ver bien puesto que la ventana esta muy sucia. El ignora las bolas inflamadas que le molestan por la sífilis, y trata de recordar la ultimo vez que vió una cara amable. El esta seguro que su vida era muy divertida, con tantas mujeres y noches embriagado no puede ser diferente ¿verdad?. Y ya pagó por su diversión con dias de cruda y miseria. Siempre pensó que su vejez seria buena con las memorias de los buenos tiempos, pero ahora no puede recordar mucho por el efecto de las drogas. No quiere continuar con la vida sin sentido, pero tiene terror de la muerte.

Ah, me encanta los Japonés...

"Hiroshi Nohara ha vivido durante casi tres meses en el aeropuerto de la ciudad de México", informa AP. ¿Y eso porque hay un problema con su visa o su país? No... tiene una visa por México, signífica que el ha pasado del immigración, entonces los autoridades no pueden hacer nada hasta la visa expire en Marzo.

"No comprendo por qué estoy aquí", dijo mediante un intérprete contratado originalmente por una estación de televisión. "No tengo una razón".

En las palabras de mi ex-editor, "Solid Gold".

De hecho, ahorrita es muy dificil a encontrar experiéncias único. Las restaurantes les dan comida y bebidas a Nohara, y probabamente va a cenar con esto historia por muchos años...

El Pecado de la Noche Buena

La mancha de rojo la sorprendió, como siempre lo hacía la primera flor de Noche Buena. La Dama de la Hacienda se paró debajo de las flores y recordó una noche hacía muchos años, algunas decadas, cuando la Noche Buena reflejaba el rojo de la sangre por debajo.

*** *** ***

La noche había sido fresca bajo la luna llena, bajo de los flores de Noche Buena. Los brazos de Antonio la abrazaron fuertemente y sus manos exploraba su cuerpa joven. La anticipación de la joven se incrementó a la par de lujuria que lo incendiaba, y respiraba agitadamente en su oido.

Se separaron repentinamente cuando el grito de coraje hizo eco en el jardín. El herrero Emiliano estaba cerca, su cara lleno de rabia y su mano cargando una pistola... que apuntaba a Antonio. Pasaba un eternidad en un segundo, hasta que Emiliano jaló el gatillo y la sangre de Antonio fluyó en ríos de color rojo, reflejando en la tierra el rojo por encima de las flores de Noche Buena.

Emiliano se habia alejado pero fue matado poco despues por la policia, y la familia de Antonio habia pasado mucho años de luto por el único hombre de su generación.

*** *** ***

La Dama de la Hacienda sonrió un poco con los recuerdos. El trabajo de crecer la lujuria de su primo y el amor del herrero habia sido dificil, y el trabajo de traerlos juntos en el momento perfecto habia sido un acción delicada, pero todo ocurrió como ella lo anticipó.

-- ¿A que lo tiras cuando sueñas? siempre preguntaba su madre cuando la Dama hablaba de tener la hacienda aunque su primo Antonio era el heredero.

-- Me tiré a mi primo, mama, suspiró el único heredera que sobrevivió.

Por lo que a mi respecta, la calabaza se puede morir de hambre.

Hallowen es una tradición genial-- probablemente una de las más divertidas de los Estados Unidos. Si alguna vez voy a EU en esa época, me voy a divertir mucho ahí...pero es una tradición de Estados Unidos y no debería de ser imitada por la gente en otros países. Cuando esto pasa en Australia es simplemente patetico, pero en México como coincide con Dia de Muertos espeligroso, porque corre el riesgo de desplazar las tradiciones de Dia de Muertos. El Día de Muertos no es solo una cosa divertida, tiene beneficios serios para la sociedad en términos de ayudar a la gente a asimilar la muerte de un ser querido. México tiene quizás la actitud más saludable respecto a la muerte la cual no encontrado en ningún otro país, y no debería convertirse en una franquicia del Halloween.

The End Of Blogger As I Know It

The results of the vote are in, and it seems that Blogger will from now on be used to post in spanish. Don't expect as many posts here...

The english-language blog will continue at Vox:

http://peculiaristmindtrap.vox.com/

Thank you for your time.

Advance Australia Yeah!

I've written a piece for the Open Forum site, which aims to increase discussion around social and policy issues in Australia. I'm reasonably certain the article is going to get a lot of negative feedback but that's OK -- I'm still reasonably certain I am right. Anyway, click through the link and write a comment or vote it up. I dare you.

http://www.openforum.com.au/content/national-anthem

Why Not How

I do not need to know how the universe came to be, I only need to know why.

An analogy:
I don't really know how a book is made. I know they cut down trees, and recylce old paper, in order to get pulp, but I do not know the process required to do this.
I do not know the details involved in turning pulp into paper.
I do not know how they make the ink, or from what ingredients. I do not know how they print the ink onto the paper.
I do not know how they bind the book together. I do not know how to make the glue used, nor how to apply it so all the pages stick properly, and in the correct order.
I do not know how to make the cover, with its different paper and its different inks.
I do not know the details of where our language came from, which words are from latin, which from greek, which from french and so on.

All these things I do not know, but I do not need to know them. All I need is to read the book and learn the information within, learn why it was made what the information means to me.

If I did learn how the book was made, the entire process from top to bottom, but I still had not read it, then what use is it to me?

Posted by: JEQP

And English Is Back In The Schools

I'm glad to note that grammar will once more be taught in Australian schools, thanks to changes to the school curriculum proposed by the National Curriculum board...a federal government effort to get some sort of conformity of education across the states. "The board's chairman, Barry McGaw, said a renewed focus on teaching English as a language, rather than a tool for cultural studies, would help raise literacy standards for all students."

I did a rant on this last week (http://peculiaristmindtrap.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-did-learned-good-english.html). I'd like to think that rant had something to do with the change in curriculum, but reasonable logic would dictate otherwise. Still, I'm going to chalk it up as a win...

Posted by: JEQP

SMH

The Time Has Come!

Yes, it's time for all good Jameses to quote the Walrus. Specifically, to choose which of the three identical blogs to keep. The addresses are:

http://thepeculiarist.livejournal.com/
http://peculiaristmindtrap.blogspot.com/
http://peculiaristmindtrap.vox.com/

I'm inclined to ditch LiveJournal because I haven't yet figured out how to wrap words around images, which I've demo'd here. Apart from that the differences are minor (how you enter things into the blog, specifically HTML).

So vote! Let me know which one you like the best by leaving a comment, and the one with the most votes wins. I realise that there is probably nobody reading this at all, but on the off-chance there is it would be foolish to eliminate the site that had my only reader.

Thought of the Day

Everything is fake, which is why Lucha Libre is the most real thing there is.

Being A Decent Human, First Cent

You become a decent person when you realise that you are no more and no less important and special than anyone else, and your behaviour reflects that. If you believe your rights are more important than other people's rights you are a bully, and if you believe your rights are less important than other people's rights you are victim -- don't be either.

Everyone has the same intrinsic rights as everyone else, and while some rights take precedence over others the rights of one individual are the same as the rights of any other individual. Perhaps a better indication of whether you are a decent or selfish person is whether your behaviour shows that the rights of your child are no more important than the rights of other children. To want to protect your child to the extent that they get a negligible benefit at a large cost to others is perhaps natural, but part of being a decent person is having reason replace instinct.

I Did Learned The Good English

I have started spanish classes again, and once again was reminded of the inadequacy of my english education. I mean, I really should know what "preterite" means (and before I get lots of "useful" lessons, I can find out what it means in a dictionary -- the point is I should have known when I was a kid, and that knowledge should now be automatic). It mostly annoys me because it makes it more difficult to learn another language, but there are more important reasons to teach children the rules of english.

I have little patience for people who argue that children shouldn't be taught grammar; the argument normally being that it puts a straitjacket on the language and stops it evolving. It's important to know the rules of the language to communicate effectively in the same way that it is important to know the rules of mathematics to perform addition.

It's also important to know the rules so you know when to break them. Breaking the rules of grammar because you don't know them normally makes you sound like an idiot, whereas breaking a rule on purpose to achieve a specific end is often very effective. Let me give you an example...

Perhaps the most commonly used example of bad grammar is "to boldly go where no man has gone before", citation not needed. We're then told not to split the infinitive -- which isn't a lot of use because my generation wasn't taught what an infinitive is. Anyway, my point is that in this case the rules of grammar were deliberately broken for a specific reason -- to emphasise the quality of boldness. The important point in the tagline is not that the Enterprise went somewhere, nor even that it went where no-one had gone before, but that it did so in a boldly.

Now imagine if the rules of grammar had been broken simply because the writer didn't know them: "To boldly go where no man has went before." Sounds stupid, doesn't it?

Knowing the rules of english doesn't put a straitjacket on the natural evolution of the language -- nothing can change the fact that the language will evolve. Languages evolve through popular fiction, notable people, events and places, new metaphors, new products and concepts, and so on. It doesn't evolve through blatant ignorance.

Which brings me neatly to what I suspect is the real reason behind the push for literary ignorance. Most of the people I've heard making the argument against teaching kids correct english are from reasonably privileged backgrounds, having gone to private or selective schools. They learnt correct english and it's likely their children will too. The "new, free english" policy is for the uneducated plebians and is probably supported with one intent in mind -- keep them out of university and out of good professional jobs, reducing the competition for the people who went to the "right" schools.

Even if the high school system is such that people don't need to know good grammar to do well in the HSC, once they get to university they're going to have to write essays and answer test questions and lots of other things that require using correct grammar, and if they can't do it they have to either learn fast or fail the degree.

Posted by JEQP.

Rivers Not Rice

The rice industry is finally looking to head north, and if they stop withdrawing water from the Murray-Darling Basin it would be one of the best things that has happened to the region. One of the things that annoys me most is when someone justifies their actions with "we have been doing it for XXX number of years", and farmers growing water-intensive crops with irrigation from a water-scarce region tend to top the list. The SMH talks about the rice industry ending its "dependence on flooded fields using the increasingly fickle Murray and Murrumbidgee rivers"...I'd use more aggressive language than that, along the lines of "the rice industry could end its gross exploitation of the damaged Murray and Murrumbidgee rivers".

Anyway, on a positive note the northern rice paddies will likely use rain-fed varieties during the monsoon season (as opposed to irrigated varieties in the south). While these produce less tonnage per hectare (Chinese farmers have produced 6-7 tonnes per hectare compared to 10 tonnes in the Riverina) the obvious advantage is that the farms are far less damaging to the natural water system. And it some point the argument against irrigated rice paddies is going to shift from "you shouldn't do that" to "it's really no longer possible for you to do that".

Australia exports 80 percent of its rice, which I suppose is good for the economy but in terms of exporting virtual water is a disaster. There are widely varying reports as to the amount of water required to make a tonne of rice -- this one (http://www.waterfootprint.org/Reports/Report16Vol1.pdf) suggests 3,000 cubic metres while the Australian National Water Commission estimates it's about 1,000 cubic metres in Australia (http://www.nwc.gov.au/resources/documents/DistilledJuly2008.pdf), or about the same as wheat. I don't know how the different numbers were calculated so I'll have to take them on face value. Accepting the Australian figure and using the 80 percent export figure, every tonne of rice produced effectively exports about 800,000 litres of water. Obviously it would be better to get that water from rainfall than from irrigation.

I notice that the National Water Commission has dismissed the idea of using the virtual water to allocate resources because "it can not provide a useful and reliable benchmark for choosing between alternative uses of the nation's scarce water resource". It provides a couple of examples, both which (along with the argument against virtual water calculations) fail because they assume that the proposal is that water allocation be decided solely on the "virtual water" calculation, when the argument is really that the amount of water used to produce something is one of the things that should be taken into account -- and where that water comes from is an integral part of the decision making process.

Young Liberals Claiming Discrimination, LMAO

Apparently the Young Liberals have prompted a senate inquiry into "systematic left-wing bias at Australian universities and high schools", which they've naturally dubbed the "make education fair" campaign to make it sound less like a right-wing witch-hunt. Anyhoo... I picked it up from an SMH article which stuck out because two of the examples given were lecturers that I've had, Wendy Bacon and Peter Manning. No-one's arguing that the lecturers aren't left-wing -- although in the case of journalism lecturers it's to be particularly expected since most print journalists I've met are left-wing to some extent or another. I think this is actually useful considering that most press releases, company announcements and other news feeds from organisations tend to have a right-wing bias. I never noticed any bias in the teaching or marking of the classes -- Wendy had a habit of fairly left-wing off-hand comments, but in lots of other places I heard people making fairly radical right-wing comments without people jumping to accusations of systemic bias.

Interestingly, Peter Manning didn't make much of an impression on me because he had managed to convince Gerard Ryle to be a guest lecturer for the course of investigative journalism, giving up any intent of propagating his own views in favour of putting an extremely accomplished journalist in front of us.

The Young Liberals seem to think that lecturers and other educators should be prevented from having an opinion so that people are encouraged to have opinions, something that I don't seem to get -- I prefer lecturers to lead by example.

I really do think this whole campaign is hypocritical -- the Young Liberals say that people need to "think for themselves" and yet anyone who expresses an opinion contrary to their own is seen as attempting indoctrination or lacking the critical facilities to think for themselves. Out of the nine examples of "bias" I read on their site three were about the opinions of other class members, who apparently shouldn't be allowed to have opinions either. Quite a few claimed to be uncomfortable speaking in class or stating their views, but when females and foreigners complained of this a few years ago they were dismissed by the right-wing as being overly-sensitive and demanding special treatment. And now the Young Liberals are demanding the same thing? In the acronym of right-wing online commentators everywhere, HTFU.

By the way, I couldn't let this particular quote from one testimonial pass: "This is the fundamental failure of left wing thinking, in that whilst conservatives acknowledge opposing opinions and choose to disagree with them, the left live in a world where non-left opinions or facts simply do not exist." I wonder if they were laughing as they wrote this? Has this person seriously not read any conservative commentary? Because most of it is about denigrating any opposing opinions ... the US conservatives are experts but check out someone like Miranda Devine for a similar tactic.

Posted by : JEQP

Heart Blood, Soul Blood

The blood that comes from deep within
Heart Blood, Soul Blood,
It does not exit through the skin
but bleeds out through the eyes.

I've left my nation far behind
my conscience, even farther,
tequila, salt, and lemon rind
have meddled with my heart.

The rules of life are not defined
by physics, or religion.
The mind will leave for them to find
scraps of lessons learnt.

And now I sit upon a star
and wish upon a stair,
to grow so large that which is far
will come, and meet me here.

Posted by Ale Constantine

Do You Remember Anything About Dumbo?

Notice: This story is written and published under the auspices of AppleSoftBM Literary Entertainment. All Trademarks and Copyrighted words and phrases used have been cleared by their respective owners. Any breach of copyright on this work will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and physics.

The banging on my NoFale (TM) security door brought me back to full awakedness just as I was buying a ticket to slumbertown. The NoFale (TM) vidscreen showed the anxious face of my brother and I relaxed. He was always anxious about something: The GovMent (TM) was torturing this person, a corporation was invading that country ... he always seemed to find something wrong with the world. I let him in.

"Thank the good whatever," he said. "I may be in a bit of trouble." I made some Sparkling Tea fresh from the paradisiacal island of Sri Lanka (TM) and indulgently awaited his story. I was not at all prepared for what I heard next. "Have you heard of Chutzpah?"

The icy hand of panic caressed my heart. Chutzpah was an "independent underground magazine" as it styled itself, and "a dangerous attack on our rights and economy" as everyone else considered it. At least, everyone with power. Even to have heard of it was to draw suspicion as a dangerous rebel. So I said "it doesn't ring a bell" as he launched into his story. I was worried that he had gone so far as to purchase a copy from some hoodlum, but it was worse than that -- he had contributed.

"I did a series of cartoon strips about an elephant with a hand on the end of its trunk," he said, and catching the look on my face hurriedly explained it was a metaphor for the power of the common man -- a connection I couldn't make, myself.

I wracked my brains for an infringement but nothing came to mind. Ever since the "Protection of Peoples Copyright Act" was passed in 2023 almost every creative development had been through entertainment companies. These had the resources to check for any infringement by the work being created, and of course also any infringement of the work which, due to the broad wording of the act, could be almost anything. That's why independent creation was so dangerous.

I was aghast at the irresponsibility of my brother. Without the judicious help of an entertainment corporation there was no way to ensure that his metaphorical cartoons were sanitized, securitized and, above all, legalized. "And uh, is there a, uh..." I tried to delicately enunciate my question but my brother responded to the holding-terror-in-check look on my face with equal bluntness.

"Do you remember anything about Dumbo?" he asked. I was confused. Dumbo? An old kid’s word for a stupid person? Then a vague memory floated through my mind; the demented ravings of my grandfather as he wallowed in senility, about a cartoon he used to watch as a boy...something about flying? A flying elephant? Oh no...

My mind reeled and my blood flushed hot and cold. I largely ignored what my brother was saying, rambling on about writing under a pseudonym and the unfairness of the injustice system, always trying to find a way to justify his disregard for social mores and the law. Still, he was my brother, and I considered ways to hide him from a minor company. My hands clammy with sweat, I asked him which corporation he had inadvertently attacked.

"Disney."

One word chilled me to the bone. The Wonderful World of Walt Disney (TM). No-one wanted to mess with the Wonderful World of Walt Disney (TM), which was widely believed to have convinced President Jenna Bush to nuke Brazil in retaliation for ongoing infringement of intellectual property.

I walked over to the CleerVue (TM) wallglass and gazed distractedly at the advertisements hovering outside, automatically trying to see past them to the streetscape. My skin was now cool and dry, my pulse had slowed.

"Don't worry," I told my brother. "You look exhausted, have a strong drink and go to bed, get some rest." A few hours later, my brother's profuse thanks ringing in my mind and his snoring sounding in my ears, I picked up the phone and dialed the number everyone knew by heart.

"Organization for the Defense of the Authors Moral Rights and the Works Underpinning the Economy of America the Land of the Brave and Free (TM). We're here to help the public, how may I service you?" said the suave voice at the other end of the line.

"I have some important information that may interest the Wonderful World of Walt Disney," I replied, hoping it would help me avoid my brother’s fate.



Posted by: Ale Constantine

Images were adapted from images in the public domain from:
http://openclipart.org/media/files/johnny_automatic/9783
http://www.copyrightauthority.com/copyright-symbol/

Review: Rain in the Doorway

Rain in the Doorway, written by Thorne Smith,First published 1933

This book is an astonishing piece of work, and I suspect gives a very clear idea of the ethos of the Roaring 20's, between the great wars and a few years into the great depression. The grand theme is the soul-crushingness of respectable corporate life and the gaity of irresponsible fun. A man with nothing to recommend his life is suddenly dragged through a door into a fantasy world of, well, fantasy...directorship of a massive department store, never-ending parties and loose women (who he mostly tries to run away from). Nothing goes very right, but nothing goes much worse than it would have in his old life either, which I think is the main point. I'm also a fan of the drawings which sprinkle the book -- most novels could get a boost from frequent illustrations. The book is very light-hearted and I think is summed up by a quote from Miss Honor "Satin" Knightly: "Why not salvage the gay things in life instead of casting about for gloom? There's plenty of that as it is."

I was surprised by several parts of the book, including the dedication which reads: "For Helen, Kathleen and Lillian, for whom Allah be praised". Another part that stood out was the inclusion of possibly the most annoying comment ever: "Another well meaning Kiarian had cornered the glowering major. "It isn't the heat," this man was saying, "it's the hu--"But the man never finished his sentence. The Major knocked him down with a single blow, wiped his hand with an expensive silk handkerchief delicately scented with eau de Cologne, and deliberately walked away.

There were also some political statements, and it surprises me more than it should when the trendy issues of today turn out to have been around for ages, such as:

"A person who votes one way, then goes home and acts another is not only a damn fool but also a damn fraud. Such people have no standing in this community."

"Now these furs all come from the best animals...all animals of the better class. I've often thought that if you could prevail upon elephants to grow hair everything would be much nicer. It fills me with regret to think that every piece of fur here displayed represents another step in the gradual extinction of animals whose only fault is that they have never learned how to shave."

While not an unmissable classic it's worth the read if you want to expand your literary horizons -- and happen to find it.

Posted by: James Quintana Pearce

Five Wines Closer To Sophistication

Last night, it being a wednesday, I invited several friends over for a night of cheese-nibbling, nut-munching, and of course wine-tasting. The higher purpose was to increase our knowledge of the world's wines, and in that we were more-or-less successful. So for those of you also wanting to tread the long road to sophistication but unwilling to swill five bottles of wine for the sake of a tenuous goal, here is my review with short descriptions you can bring forth in front of friends to appear worldly:

Moscato Spumante, Sperone, Italy

The seasoned advice of Steve O. guided us in the selection of our order, based on the chance each wine had of destroying our palate for following ones. Moscato is my third-favourite type of wine, so this was my favourite of the bunch we had, but I compare it to other Moscatos for the sake of fairness. It's a passable Moscato, light and not very sweet. In this is the matter of taste most apparent, as Steve opined it was perfectly in the middle of not being too sweet and not being sweet enough. Gabo described it as like the sweet juice of pears.

Description: "Sweet and tangy, like a casual friendship with a cute girl."

Chardonnay, Brown Brothers, Australia

Brown Brothers is my favourite vineyard, and produce my favourite wine (Cienna and Cabernet) so I was unsurprised at the quality of this wine. It has a woody, white oak flavour but not too strong -- it doesn't wrap your tongue like a bespoke coffin like some do. Others suggested that the quality was because the oak doesn't hide the flavour of the fruit.
Description: "Woody and relaxed, like lounging on a wooden park bench watching pretty girls go by."

Malbec, Bodega Del Fin de Mundo, Patagonia

Malbec is apparently "a region of immense beauty with countless landscapes where the final touches of creation can be traced" according to the vineyard. From the start this wine was enjoyable, as I had a lot of fun saying "Patagonia" with a strong westie accent. Ahem. Onto the wine, I found it very hard to categorise, with Steve noting it had a bit of perfume to it and decreeing "It's a good Malbec, but it's not extraordinary". I thought it had a strong flavour, slightly fruity, and decided to use the word "cloying".

Description: "Cloyingly fruity, like a nice but libidinous girl with a crush on you, and is persistant to the point of being slightly annoying."

Bordeaux, Sichel, Médoc, France

It was at this point in the night that I was informed that red wine was not meant to be served chilled. For me, a drink should be either warm and comforting or cold and refreshing -- anything at room temperature reminds me of my own sweat. And with that delicate analogy in mind, let's talk about Médoc. I found the flavour soft and watery, but was assured the fruity flavours would come out as the wine warmed up. They did, but by that stage it was mostly gone. Karla thought it tasted of grapes, while Steve was left hanging: "I don't know, it's a very young taste...it leaves something to be wondered." For myself, the word tantalising came to mind.

Description: "Light and tantalising, like an innocent girl in a slightly translucent dress."

Cabernet Sauvignon, La Ronciere, Rapel Valley, Chile

This wine was strong, nutty, fruity and earthy, and left you felt like you'd been mugged by a bunch of grapes. Sara suggested it "tastes of blood". Probably a good one to end the night on.

Description: "Like a luscious girl sitting on your knee."

Posted by: JEQP

Horny Goat Weed Works -- Who Knew

Have you seen that "natural viagra", Horny Goat Weed? Apparently it works... who knew? Some Italian researchers did some lab experiments on it (purely for scientific purposes, of course) and found that if they modified a compound in the plant called icariin it blocked the erection-inhibiting enzyme as well as Viagra did...so it may not work quite so well in the plant. They didn't actually look at whether the plant actually increases desire, and there's so many off-hand jokes about Italians I could make here that I'm not going to bother, you just fill it in yourself...



Posted by: JEQP.

Reuters

Movie Reviews: Donkey Thunder

I saw Tropic Thunder a few days ago, and I had the same reaction to it that I've had to every Ben Stiller movie -- not fantastic, but worth the price of the admission. As usual, Ben Stiller's part was the least funny...but since he wrote and directed it I have to assume he has a reason for doing what he does, I just hope it's not ego. Some other thoughts:
-- The Australian rant was the funniest part of the movie. "Crocodile Dundee's a national treasure, you're walking very close to the line there, mate."
-- Tom Cruise's BEST   ROLE     EVER.
-- I missed the fake trailers at the beginning, so I'll have to find another way to see those.

I also just saw Donkey Xote, based on the classic Cervantes novel -- albeit rather loosely. I can't comment on the dialogue but Karla wasn't overly impressed. From what I gather, and the title supports this, it makes the most sense for Spanish-speakers who know english, and how english-speakers speak spanish, if you get my drift. It appears to be set after the book, although there was at least one major theme taken from the novel. The talking donkey I could accept (Sancho's mount) but the chickens left me a bit non-plussed and the lion really threw me.

Haiti Set Back Years By Hurricane, City Waist Deep In Mud

Hurricane Ike has made some big news headlines with its devastation of coastal towns in the USA -- however the hurricane traversed several Caribbean nations first, nations which don't have the cushion of the world's most powerful economy. I'll focus on Haiti because it is the poorest nation in the Americas, and the result of being hit by tropical storms Fay and Hanna and hurricanes Gustav and Ike in just a few weeks has sent the development of the economy back several years. The UN World Food Program has asked for US$54 million to help in the recovery process, but has so far only received $1 million.

How to donate:

Australian charities are focusing on other parts of the world, but there are some international charities you can donate to.

World Food Program

Canadian UNICEF

Red Cross UK

World Vision Emergency Fund -- World Vision doesn't have a Haiti-specific appeal, but its emergency service is present and that can be donated to.



Some facts about the disaster:

-- More than 400 people have been killed in the storms.

-- The coastal city of Gonaives is waist deep in mud

-- Sixty percent of Haiti's food harvest was destroyed.

-- UN officials say about 800,000 people are in dire need of help.

-- Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, with 80 percent of the population living under the poverty line and 54 percent in abject poverty.


More Information:

Famine fears for Haitian city drowning in a sea of mud -- SMH

Haiti warns hurricanes set country back years -- Reuters UK

CIA World Factbook Haiti

Wikipedia Haiti


Revised Red Cross Emergency Appeal PDF
The Red Cross initially set a target of $4 million, and got that mostly covered, but after Ike raised the figure to about $7.6 million.

World Food Program Haiti Fact Sheet PDF


Posted by: James Quintana Pearce

Pictionary

The first person who guesses the word will win a free year's subscription to this blog.

I'll Tell You What's Wrong With The World Today...

People ask me what's wrong with the world, as if it was a large and complex calculator which cannot add two and two and arrive at the answer everyone else does. Obviously that's not the correct way to look at it, although to be fair there are some things that just don't fit in the world, people who insist on causing trouble by behaving differently to the expected norms. For example...

Back in the balmy summer of 2004 in Colorado, USA two bright teens decided to do "anonymous good deeds", and to that end they baked a batch of cookies to share amongst 9 of their neighbours. They put a message on each plate with "Have a great night. Love, The T and L Club." written on a big red heart, left the plate before the neighbour's front door, knocked and ran.

One of the neighbours, obviously unused to such spontaneous generosity, had an anxiety attack and went to hospital. Naturally, she sued the families of the precocious teens for "$3,000 to cover her medical expenses, a motion-sensor light for her porch, lost wages, and punitive damages". However, the judge saw fit to award only $900 to cover medical expenses and dismissed the rest.

In the same way that a mis-sized cog in a grandfather clock will see the time displayed becoming less and less accurate, this small out-of-place act affected larger cogs which pushed larger levers resulting in larger effects, such as television appearances, restraining orders and lost jobs.

This is the problem with mis-sized cogs, no matter how small -- the problem escalates until it effects everyone. The girls may have had good intentions, but they failed to consider how their actions could unravel the fabric of American society. The great nation of the United States of America didn't become the mindless economic and military juggernaut it is today by people being nice to each other, nor by people just giving stuff away for free.

And after all, it is natural for the neighbour in question to be scared of cookies: The TV-fed public have associated cookies with monsters for decades now, and cookies often have a high fat and carbohydrate content which may contribute to heart problems even if the mere sight of a plate of cookies being left on the front doorstep doesn't cause one to hyperventilate.

People ask me what's wrong with this world, and I tell them: Cookies.

Published by: The Peculiarist.

Stella Awards

Munching Space Cakes on a Space Elevator

I'm writing from Querétaro where Karla is presenting at an environmental education conference, and am intrigued by the latest news to come out of the scientific community: Japan's commitment to spend 5 billion pounds building a space elevator, according to Shuichi Ono, chairman of the Japan Space Elevator Association as reported in London's Times newspaper. those who aren't fans of science fiction, a space elevator basically involves a long ribbon reaching from Earth to a station in geosynchronous orbit, which vehicles will then pass up and down.

You might think this is impossible, and it is -- at the moment. Advances in nanotechnology may make it feasible pretty soon, however, and the fact that Japan has plonked 5 billion pounds on the table raises it from the desktop meanderings of university researchers to a serious endeavour.

There have been some concerns raised about the concept of the space elevator, such that if the ribbon was severed too high up it would fall down like a whip, lashing vast areas of the globe. This has been pooh-poohed by most scientists working on the project, who argue that if we're prepared to take the risk of creating a black hole just to bang a few particles together we should be willing to risk a carbon nanotube ribbon falling from the sky.

I say go for it: It's worth the risk. For starters, the space elevator will create some drag as it goes through the atmosphere, and will thus slightly slow the rotation of the Earth. One won't make much difference, but if you think all the super-powers are going to let Japan have a monopoly on the elevator to space you know less about human psychology than the average chimp. Several other projects are already underway (well, given a boost in legitimacy at least) with NASA inevitably getting involved. Several space elevators will slow the rotation of the Earth even more, which will lengthen the day which in turn brings us to the biggest issue this raises. Will this extra time be spent working or playing? I know which one I want, and I know which one your bosses want... now's the time to start unionising and lobbying politicians.

Another benefit is that none of the land suitable for basing a space elevator -- ie, along the equator -- lies in the developed world. Assuming that plans to have a floating base come to naught you're looking at South America, Africa or South East Asia. I'm not sure how much land would be required but I'd be setting the rent pretty damn high.

Published by JEQP.

SMH

Hari Puttar Beats Time Warner Trademark Suit

The Delhi High Court has made an appropriate decision in regards to a lawsuit bought by Time Warner against Mumbai-based production house Mirchi Movies over trademark violation. The background -- Mirchi Movies is about to release a movie by the name of Hari Puttar, the opening of which was delayed two weeks because of the court case, and also because the Turner channels did not carry advertising for the movie. Time Warner is of the opinion that the title Hari Puttar is too close to Harry Potter and started court action -- although apparently they've known of the title for three years, so why they waited so long to kick up a fuss is beyond me.

Anyway, Justice Reva Khetrapal ruled that "the possibility of an unlettered audience viewing a Harry Potter movie is remote, to say the least. An illiterate or semi-literate movie viewer, in case he ventures to see a film by the name of Hari Puttar, would never be able to relate the same with a Harry Potter film or book" reports Indian Express. I don't know how big Harry Potter is in India so I cannot say whether the naming of the Indian movie was purposefully intended to resemble Rowling's title, but I'm sure it was brought to their attention and I'm sure they didn't think it would hurt. Mind you, it's a bit silly to try to ban anything in any language that even vaguely resembles an English trademark.

This is clearly the right ruling because trademarks were never meant to give a person or company a monopoly on a word, phrase or image. They are intended to prevent the general public mistakenly confusing something as relating to the trademark holder. As long as there is no chance of confusion there is no trademark infringement. In this case anyone who sees any advertising at all for Hari Puttar will be quite clear that there is no connection with Harry Potter -- LA Times has the trailer. I reckon the only way the connection was likely to have been made with most people is by Time Warner bringing it up. To that end I was going to advise everyone to see the movie just to annoy Time Warner, but from the trailer is appears to be a Home Alone remake with an Indian protagonist and a techno-rap soundtrack, so... don't.

Published by James Quintana Pearce.

Scientific Evidence of Bovine Molestation

Scientists have discovered evidence of alien abduction and general interference in Earthly affairs, although naturally they skirted around this obvious conclusion in their published paper. Sabine Begall, Jaroslav Červený, Julia Neef, Oldřich Vojtěch and Hynek Burda published a paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America innocuously titled "Magnetic alignment in grazing and resting cattle and deer" (http://www.pnas.org/content/105/36/13451) which was picked up by a number of news sites around the world.

Basically, the researchers used Google Earth to look at herds of cattle and deer (8,510 cows in 308 pastures and 2,974 deer in 241 localities) and found that two-thirds of the ungulates were aligned in a north-south direction -- specifically magnetic north. To explain this trend the scientists refer to ancestral herds of migrating bovines to explain the trend -- as if cattle evolved to be giant magnets in leather.

The obvious and logical explanation (just as obviously and logically being covered up by Them) is that the cow's orientation is a direct result of implants by aliens during their numerous cow molesting escapades. It seems they're only about two-thirds through their nefarious plan, and I shudder to think what will happen when all of Earth's cattle fall under their sway. It's also important to find out how widespread this is, since both Roe deer and domestic cows are part of the order Artiodactyla, which contains about 220 species including pigs, sheep, camels and giraffes.

Astute individuals will also make a connection with alien abductees, and agree with me that the most pressing order of business is to find out whether they also have a specific orientation.

This could go further than previously thought, as the picture below demonstrates -- it was taken in the morning in Liechtenstein, and the shadow indicates that the cow is in fact pointing north.



Posted by: The Peculiarist
Don't believe me, check for yourself:
New Scientist
LA Times
Telegraph